Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Into The Twilight Zone

With your help, my post-traumatic stress didn't last very long.

I had contemplated modern day cures for trauma (alcohol, drugs) to numb the pain. Na'uzubillah! God forbid!
(I did consider anti-depressants - Zoloft, Prozac - or even Valium to put me to sleep, but I was afraid that the after-effect would only worsen my situation).

I instead opted for prayers. May He show me that there is a reason in all this. It reminds me the obedience of prophet Ibrahim in willingly accepting the command of Allah to sacrifice his son Ismail. It was all a test of course, as a little lamb took the place of his son at the final moment - a sacrifice marked to this day by the Muslims in Qurban.

I have never been nearer to Him than now.

Thankfully post-traumatic stress, even though an acute affliction, are fading away fast, as I begin to accept the reality of it all. It is the pleasures of the past that I'm having problem with now. Those moments that I will treasure forever. Photos and other items that remind me of them are all over the house.

Thankfully too I have the love and support of my children and daughters-in-law. They are just God-send.

I have also decided to devote more of my time to looking after my grandchildren.

Little Zaqwan was playing with his toys

when I decided to take him away for a while into the unknown, may be meet my Alien friends

Away we go!

We'll be back. Hopefully soon.


Nadia said...

Pa, we're all here for you if you need us and we're also praying for her safe return. InsyaAllah, may He guide you and show you the reason for all that's happening. Amin.

NancyDe said...

Your grandson is beautiful.

I love the story of Abraham and Isaac. Lovely that our faiths share this story.

You are in my daily prayers, Grandpa.

Grandpa said...

Nadia, thanks for your support and understanding. It means a lot to papa, and had brought the family closer.

NancyDe. Thank you. I believe in the goodness of every religion. Just because our starting points differ don't make any of them any less sacred.

Rachael Harrie said...

We'll be here when you get back Grandpa. Take all the time you need.

My thoughts are with you.



small farm girl said...

Sometimes it's what our bodies need. I try to not miss someone when they are gone. I fight it! But, when I finally break down and cry, I feel better....I still hate it though. Sorry you have to go through it.

Samantha VĂ©rant said...

Happy New Year, Grandpa. Have faith. -Samantha

Ohiofarmgirl said...

sending hugs and warm wishes on this glorious morning. that little Zaqwan is adorable. its the ones who need us keep us going even if it is just one step at a time.

your pal,

Wan Sharif said...

Glad to know that you have never been nearer to Him than now.
Realization that it was the pleasures of the past that you are having problem with now... will put you in a better perspective. It is better suffer now than later(in the hereafter).
May He grant us the patience, perseverence, rahmah and ni'mah.. in our journey to attain His pleasure.


Faith said...

What a cutie he is. :o) Children are indeed a beautiful gift.

You remain in my prayers.


secret agent woman said...

Good - time with children can be very healing.

Serena said...

I pray for continued strength for you in tough times.

Zaqwan is adorable!

Take care,

Happy Frog and I said...

My thoughts are with you. x