Best Wishes for the New Year, Sorry for the Sob Story

Dear Friends,

Thank you all for your comforting words and thoughts, and your prayers.

As I struggle to come to terms with the situation I unexpectedly found myself in, I kicked myself repeatedly for not seeing it coming.

Beware - things may not be what they seem at all. Never in my wildest dreams I imagine myself going through what I'm going through now.

I had absolutely no intention of ending the year with that kind of post. It is not fair to you my readers to be burdened with what is a very personal matter.

While I was hesitant to share the exact nature of the tragedy, I couldn't help but put my feelings down as I have done on many occasions in this blog. I have been sharing both happy and sad moments with you.

Some of you had called it brave and generous.

Until now I'm not sure if it was not a stupid thing to do. I risked turning away my faithful followers and readers.

It was to be my last post. I just hope that some good came out of it.

What happen to me now is of little consequence. If you guys had learned something from this episode in my life, then my pain and suffering had not been in vain.

It just so happen that this is the dawn of a new year. My very best wishes to all for a delightful and peaceful journey ahead. What a way to start mine. If there's a silver lining, (or hikmah, as we call it) I haven't seen it yet.

Remember, don't take things for granted - show your appreciation to your spouse, your children, your parents, and all your loved ones before it is too late.

Never Take Them For Granted

You know you loved her deeply

you know you cannot live without her

till death would you only willingly part

you know you have dedicated your entire life to her 

you know she meant everything to you

you appreciate the things she had done

what she had brought into your life

deep in your heart you know

 despite her shortcomings, 

she's a million times better than most

Why didn't you let her know

why didn't you shower her with your love

and affection every single day, every single moment

why, oh why?

You don't really miss someone so badly until she is actually gone.

Once she's gone you will suffer the pain as your heart breaks into a million pieces. You are overwhelmed with the pain of loneliness, as all your dreams fade away into oblivion.

There's only emptiness.

You would hope then, that it is just a bad dream.

You wished you can start over. Do things better.

Once she's gone you can cry a million tears, it'll make little difference, except to make you cry even more.

Pain will now take over other emotions. Your spine will weaken and you'd rather sit than stand.

Fear, anxiety overwhelm you.

The bitter taste in your mouth makes you despise food. Any food you touch will not be processed in the usual manner anyway. It'll be constant diarrhea.

It is the beginning of your bodily decay.

You will lose any and every sense of pleasure. Being alive itself hurts.

Nights will seem extra long, as you lay awake hoping and praying, and trying hard to find a reason to go on.

The sunrise and sunset mean little now, as days will not be glorious anymore.

Before long the weeds will be overgrown, and the vines will start to climb and strangle the trees, as the vines of depression starts to fix itself onto you, eating you away with a life of its own.



Why, oh God, why...


It is hopeless of course crying over spilled milk. You can only pray. And hope.


Take care of your loved ones.

You may think you are a smart ass. Or you may even actually be a smart ass. The brightest kid on the block. You may be rich. You may be the big boss in the office. You may work your butt out on a daily basis so your family can have everything.

But all those don't mean a thing without your love, and, more importantly, without you showing them in as many ways as you can that you love them dearly.


Please, please, please  don't take those you love for granted.

They are not mind-readers. Some things just need to be shown and demonstrated. Do it. Don't learn the hard way. Don't wait until it is too late.

Happy New Year Mum

Where ever you are

I'm sorry

I love you - before, now, and forever

God Bless